Monday, November 17, 2008

Week 10

The weeks are really crawling. I’m really trying to focus on the here-and-now and just enjoy being pregnant, but I can’t help but get ahead of myself. I can’t wait to smell this child’s head – I can’t wait to see my mom’s face the first time she holds him/her – I can’t wait to give him/her a bath in the sink! I know that by that time comes, I’m going to wish I had relished earlier moments a bit more – but I just can’t help but fast forward our life.

My morning sickness has gotten a little bit worse, but it’s still manageable and probably minor compared to what others have experienced. I have no appetite at all. The only things I can manage to get myself to eat are peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, juice and toast. The thought of everything else makes me want to run to the bathroom. I haven’t been vomiting, just really queasy and woozy. My weekends are spent on the couch doing nothing.

I’m feeling pretty bad about the fact that I’m not eating any fruits and vegetables. I started this pregnancy off with a balanced diet – and can’t manage that right now. I was talking to a friend of mine at work who is pregnant and she told me about these fruit and vegetable pill supplements. She says that her whole family swears by them and all of their babies come out healthy and shiny and loving vegetables. I’ll try it and let you all know how it goes.

I’ve been having a tough time figuring out what kind of Paid Family Leave benefits C will have once the baby is born. At this point, I’m not sure if our marriage will still be valid, so worst-case-scenario, we’d register as Domestic Partners. I was under the impression that Domestic Partners would have the same eligibility as a married couple here in California – but I’m getting a different story from our HR person. I don’t think she’s necessarily trying to be shitty – I think she’s just stupid and as a result I’m probably going to have to end up doing most of the legwork on this. Irritating. But, maybe this will make it easier for the next lesbo couple having a kid.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am sorry you are feeling crappy. I hope it improves soon. I was under the impression that as domestic partners we get the same benefits as married couples as far as time off.This is also true if you are doing a second parent adoption, just to be extra safe. I actually read the text somewhere. If I find it again I will send it your way.

Anonymous said...

Those weeks sure do crawl in the beginning. Then all of a sudden, BAM- you're like, how did we get here? Dont worry, you'll get there.

The best thing we can do for ourselves is research our legal rights (or lack thereof). Your greatest advocate in this whole thing is you.

Pufferfish said...

It really stinks that so much work has to be done to figure out what your rights are--but it's worth doing.
Glad to hear that you are feeling A-OK for the most part.
I hope that you have been able to catch up and recover from your holiday.

Laurie said...

Your HR struggles sound all too familiar to mine... We were married in CA (live in NY) and even before Prop 8 was passed, the HR department was a bunch of babbling bafoons. They are just not educated. Hopefully everything will work out nicely, even if you have to work for it. :)

Anonymous said...

As a former HR lady (yes, i was a lady about the whole thing), I would suggest going with the adoption angle. Your partner is eligible for FMLA for an adoption. There is nothing in teh law that says that it has to be through and agnecy or any of that. Of course, it just sucks that your marriage is in limbo! I hope the supreme court hears the case soon and overturns it.

Carrie said...

i am so excited for you!!!!! I'm adding you to my blogroll, so i can follow your pregnancy. may i ask how many IUIs you'd done before switching to the big guns? I'll try looking back at your earlier posts, but am curious. (We're wondering if/when we should just switch to IVF or something....)

Chris and Penny said...

we lived in ca when i had the twins, and were registered domestic partners. my partner got paid family leave when the twins were born, for about 6 weeks, i believe. she took it in two three week chunks. the state website is helpful. so maybe print some of that stuff off and bring it in to your hr person. (part of what is confusing for people is the difference between paid family leave and fmla. they are two different things.) my partner was also able to go on the birth certificate as the second parent. so great! good luck to you!