I have a friend here at work who is probably one of the smartest people I know. Her brilliance is more of a people-smarts than a book-smarts. She can read anyone and any situation. It isn’t that she’s not book-smart, she is, but her people-smarts should be studied.
After my miscarriage in June, she gave me this book entitled “Many Lives, Many Masters”. It’s a book based on a psychiatrist’s case study regarding past life therapy. The book presents the notion that each one of us has a group of souls who stay with us through multiple lifetimes and that the purpose of each lifetime is to learn a variety of lessons from each other. This isn’t anything new, there are a number of religions and spiritual paths that have similar doctrine.
There are a number of thoughts presented in the book, but the reason she gave it to me and the one idea that has stuck with me through this whole process is that the right soul will enter our life when it is supposed to happen. It helped me move past the miscarriage and helped put our next attempts in perspective.
Yesterday, when we got the call from our doctor with the news that only one egg had fertilized, I was crushed. I wanted so badly for all 3 to fertilize. I was already feeling nervous that only 3 of the 10 were viable and this felt like an even deeper blow. I was terrified that this was the beginning of the end and was feeling hopeless. I wanted to update yesterday, but just didn’t have the heart to get online. I felt like I was disappointing C, my family and even you guys to a certain extent. I know it’s stupid, but I want to be a source of hope to this community and not just heartbreak.
I called my acupuncturist last night to give her the news – she told me that this little embryo doesn’t know that it was up against 9 others. She said that it’s time to get my head on straight because the focus changes from me to the embryo and to preparing my body for it’s arrival.
After my progesterone shot last night, I took some time by myself to clear my head and to talk to this little soul out there to let it know that we are ready. I have a beautiful, healthy body to keep her safe and warm for the next 9 months and we’ve got a home filled with love and laughter to help her become a happy person. We love you so much already and we can’t wait to share our lives with you.
Our transfer is tomorrow at noon and I am ready. Please wish us luck.
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7 comments:
good luck today!! sending lots of sticky vibes your way ~ hope your little bean digs in and holds on tight! :)
I wish you the best. As you know, you only need one and I agree that the right soul will enter your life at the right time. xo
All it takes is one and I wish you and the emby the best of luck and sticky power.
- Strawberry
Thanks for the message on my blog. I've been traveling from work, and having a relatively long (for me) luteal phase, but it seems to be ending in blood (again). But oh, my what a ride you've been on. Sorry I missed the last few posts b/c of travel. Am all caught up now, and am holding your embryo (and YOU) in the light and praying that this soul takes up residence in you for the next 9 months. Lots of love. (And continued admiration for your perspective.) xo
lots and lots of luck!!
Hey there... We are also doing our transfer tomorrow and we are only transferring one as well. I truly believe that one is all it takes... so be strong and calm because tomorrow we WILL both be pregnant. Best wishes!
Good luck. I hope this one perfect embaby is your baby.
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